I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.

Your ignorance cramps my conversation

Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it's also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.

Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that?

The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.

Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy he's hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.