Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.

Every Naval vessel has a contingent of Marines aboard. After all, the Sailors have to have someone to dance with.

It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn't know they had a caddie division.

You know what a fan letter is - it's just an inky raspberry.

I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.

Television is the box they buried entertainment in.