Welcome to the Academy Awards, or, as it's known at my house, Passover.

Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.

Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren't penalized for being on grass.

I don't know what people have against government; they haven't done anything.

The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear's huge jaws. I wouldn't even try that with my agent.

My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They're still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.

There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.