Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I've never heard of a clean one.

The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I've been doing that all my life.

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.

The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.

Don't people know that they don't have to heckle the president of the United States? That's what Congress is for.

And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them. We didn't know that in America after the war, you wouldn't be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.

A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.