Vice President Spiro Agnew can not cheat on his score : because all you have to do is look back down the fairway and count the wounded.

On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he's now my golf bag.

Today's ballroom dances like the swim, the frug, the chicken and the monkey are really nervous disorders set to music.

I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.

My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun.

She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all.

There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.