With today's movies, if we took out all the bad language, we'd go back to silent films.

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.

Golf's really fun in Japan because of the women caddies. ... I saw one guy start out playing alone with his caddie. By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome.

They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.

Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem. They're all running for the Presidency.

Wine, women and song have been replaced by prune juice, a heating pad and the Gong Show.