Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy he's hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.

I led such a sheltered life I didn't go out with girls until I was almost four.

I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.

It's so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.

With today's movies, if we took out all the bad language, we'd go back to silent films.