The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.

There's a very apt saying in show business: "If you don't go over budget in Paris, you're either very rich or very sick. "

I once showed Pat Bradley my swing and said, 'What do I do next?' Pat replied, 'Wait till the pain dies down.'

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one.

I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.

As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window. I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, "Don't worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it's obsolete."

I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters.