I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.

With today's movies, if we took out all the bad language, we'd go back to silent films.

As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window. I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, "Don't worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it's obsolete."

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.