Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It's in the lease.

YOU CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME SO CONCENTRATE ON IT.

Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands

I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.

I can't understand what's holding up our missile program. It's the first time the government ever had trouble making the taxpayers' money go up in smoke.