On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he's now my golf bag.
Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I'm the healthiest idiot in the world.
A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
Seventy years of ad-lib material, and I am speechless.
Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me.
Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.