Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I'm the healthiest idiot in the world.

That's life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.

Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?

Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.

Today's ballroom dances like the swim, the frug, the chicken and the monkey are really nervous disorders set to music.

The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don't know which end to talk to.

Bing Crosby and I weren't the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other. One of our stock lines used to be "There's nothing I wouldn't do for Bing, and there's nothing he wouldn't do for me." And that's the way we go through life - doing nothing for each other!