Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn't be surprised if their wrestling was on the level.

I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.

Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees.

The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.

The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent's handshake.

It was a typically British birth... I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward... I came out in sympathy.

The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he's not running for anything.