Failure is the only thing I've ever been a success at.

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It's going to get us out of the house after dark!

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water.

I can't give up Golf, I've got too many sweaters.