Miniskirts have become quite a fad. They're even some guys wearing them. Don't laugh, if you had thought to of that, you'd not be here now.

As soon as the war ended, we located the one spot on earth that hadn't been touched by the war and blew it to hell.

Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.

I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.

Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I'm the healthiest idiot in the world.

Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.