Miniskirts have become quite a fad. They're even some guys wearing them. Don't laugh, if you had thought to of that, you'd not be here now.

When you get over 95, every day is your day.

If my golf game was a prize fight, they'd stop it.

Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.

We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back.

It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn't know they had a caddie division.

The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent's handshake.