You can always spot the employee playing golf with his boss. He's the fellow who makes a hole in one and says, "oops!"

Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.

What do gardeners do when they retire?

My father only hit me once, but he used a Volvo.

Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?

The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.

I got a horse for my wife. I thought it was a fair swap.