You can always spot the employee playing golf with his boss. He's the fellow who makes a hole in one and says, "oops!"

They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.

Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded: 'Take me to the canaries'.

Marriage is an investment which pays dividends if you pay interest.

You can always spot the employee playing golf with his boss. He's the fellow who makes a hole in one and says, "oops!"

I was a born club comic. Radio and TV and stage were fine, but I found my real home in cabaret.