A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded: 'Take me to the canaries'.
I told them I wanted to be a comedian, and they laughed; I became a comedian, no one's laughing now
I got a horse for my wife. I thought it was a fair swap.
My father was ruined by hard drink - he sat on an icicle.
I came home and found that my son was taking drugs - my very best ones too!
What do gardeners do when they retire?