My father was ruined by hard drink - he sat on an icicle.

Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.

I came home and found that my son was taking drugs - my very best ones too!

If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?

I'm rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I've regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.

My father was ruined by hard drink - he sat on an icicle.

I'd never be unfaithful to my wife for the reason that I love my house very much.