My father was ruined by hard drink - he sat on an icicle.

My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.

Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?

With my wife it was sex, sex, sex...Yes, three times in 35 years.

Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.

I'm rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I've regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.

My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She used to pick up CB signals.