A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded: 'Take me to the canaries'.

My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.

I got my start in silent radio.

I'd never be unfaithful to my wife for the reason that I love my house very much.

My father was ruined by hard drink - he sat on an icicle.

Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.

I'm rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I've regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.