I know I'm a sinner, but make me a winner!
With my wife it was sex, sex, sex...Yes, three times in 35 years.
Where do the homeless have 90 per cent of their accidents?
I came home and found that my son was taking drugs - my very best ones too!
I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.
The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.