With my wife it was sex, sex, sex...Yes, three times in 35 years.

I got my start in silent radio.

I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.

I'm rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I've regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.

Where do the homeless have 90 per cent of their accidents?

I can still enjoy sex at 74 - I live at 75, so it's no distance.

My wife said, 'Can my mother come down for the weekend?' So I said, 'Why?' And she said, 'Well, she's been up on the roof two weeks already.'