I told them I wanted to be a comedian, and they laughed; I became a comedian, no one's laughing now
I was a born club comic. Radio and TV and stage were fine, but I found my real home in cabaret.
With my wife it was sex, sex, sex...Yes, three times in 35 years.
Real happiness is when you marry a girl for love and find out later she has money.
If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.