My father only hit me once, but he used a Volvo.
When the inventor of the drawing board messed things up, what did he go back to?
I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.
I'm rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I've regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
A miniature village in Bournemouth caught fire and the flames could be seen nearly three feet away.
Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.