I got my start in silent radio.
Marriage is an investment which pays dividends if you pay interest.
You can always spot the employee playing golf with his boss. He's the fellow who makes a hole in one and says, "oops!"
Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.
I told them I wanted to be a comedian, and they laughed; I became a comedian, no one's laughing now
My wife said, 'Can my mother come down for the weekend?' So I said, 'Why?' And she said, 'Well, she's been up on the roof two weeks already.'