A miniature village in Bournemouth caught fire and the flames could be seen nearly three feet away.

My wife said, 'Can my mother come down for the weekend?' So I said, 'Why?' And she said, 'Well, she's been up on the roof two weeks already.'

Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.

I was a born club comic. Radio and TV and stage were fine, but I found my real home in cabaret.

When the inventor of the drawing board messed things up, what did he go back to?

Although I have always loved the noise of laughter, I really can't fear the coming of quiet. As for funerals, I rather like them. Such nice things are always said about the deceased, I feel sad that they had to miss hearing it all by just a few days.

A miniature village in Bournemouth caught fire and the flames could be seen nearly three feet away.