Although I have always loved the noise of laughter, I really can't fear the coming of quiet. As for funerals, I rather like them. Such nice things are always said about the deceased, I feel sad that they had to miss hearing it all by just a few days.

I told them I wanted to be a comedian, and they laughed; I became a comedian, no one's laughing now

My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She used to pick up CB signals.

They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.

If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?

What do gardeners do when they retire?

With my wife it was sex, sex, sex...Yes, three times in 35 years.