Although I have always loved the noise of laughter, I really can't fear the coming of quiet. As for funerals, I rather like them. Such nice things are always said about the deceased, I feel sad that they had to miss hearing it all by just a few days.

I told them I wanted to be a comedian, and they laughed; I became a comedian, no one's laughing now

I can still enjoy sex at 74 - I live at 75, so it's no distance.

I got my start in silent radio.

Where do the homeless have 90 per cent of their accidents?

Real happiness is when you marry a girl for love and find out later she has money.

Although I have always loved the noise of laughter, I really can't fear the coming of quiet. As for funerals, I rather like them. Such nice things are always said about the deceased, I feel sad that they had to miss hearing it all by just a few days.