When the inventor of the drawing board messed things up, what did he go back to?
You can always spot the employee playing golf with his boss. He's the fellow who makes a hole in one and says, "oops!"
Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.
Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.
Where do the homeless have 90 per cent of their accidents?
Real happiness is when you marry a girl for love and find out later she has money.