When the inventor of the drawing board messed things up, what did he go back to?

Where do the homeless have 90 per cent of their accidents?

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded: 'Take me to the canaries'.

Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?

Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.

I'm rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I've regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.

I was a born club comic. Radio and TV and stage were fine, but I found my real home in cabaret.