I don't want to find the secret. I'm afraid all the joy will go out of it if I find the secret.

The first time I got up in front of an audience was terror, abject terror, which continued for another four or five years. There still is, a little bit.

You shouldn't get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny.

When you're going for a joke, you're stuck out there if it doesn't work. There's nowhere to go. You've done the drum role and the cymbal clash and you're out on the end of the plank.

I didn't need the elf outfit to play an elf; I could just play an elf.

There are a lot of questions I keep asking myself about why I do comedy. I guess I laugh to keep from crying. And I guess if you ever get me crying, I might not stop. This is the way I look at tragedy or else I'll cry.

I'm very open to the up-and-comers.