I'm very open to the up-and-comers.

As an actor, you generally want to see the other actor's face.

Cell phones have gotten so small, you can't tell who's a cell phone user and who's a schizophrenic.

Television series are like the stock market. There's room for bears and bulls but no room for pigs.

One of the first things that you learn as a stand-up is, you're the boss. It's your stage, and don't screw with me because I'll make you look bad, which I had to do, because you wind up with drunks and loud people.

Funny is funny is funny.

I'm one of those passengers who arrives at the airport five or six hours early so I can throw back a few drinks and muster up the courage to board the plane. Apparently I'm not alone because I've never been in an empty airport bar. I don't care what time you get there. Even at 8:00 a.m. you have to fight your way to the bar. At that hour, everyone drinks Bloody Marys so no one can tell it's booze- at least until they fall off their chair.