I don't have a stack of scripts...

I wasn't much good. When I went into the line on a fake - I would holler 'I don't have it!'

Don't ever have two dogs. That way you won't know which one to blame.

Comedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always out there.

The reason I'm a psychologist is based in part on my telephone routines. Much of my humor comes out of reaction to what other people are saying. A psychologist is a man who listens, who is sympathetic.

The first time I got up in front of an audience was terror, abject terror, which continued for another four or five years. There still is, a little bit.

I can't remember the last live-action, non-animated Christmas movie.