I'm completely changing my diet. My nutritionist recommends I must now stop eating food I have already eliminated.

Sometimes I wish I hadn't said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.

It's so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.

There was this whole middle time that only Chris Rock came out of, you know, 10 years ago it was Chris and a few other people, but that's about it. Chris is in a class of his own; I don't see another comedian who I put in high regard as him.

Apparently my street has a leaf blower gang who tag team all day, so the sounds of the leaf blower are forever blowing from dawn to dusk.

I can't do negative, needy, or narcissistic anymore. Oh wait, I can still do the last one, aw nuts.

I think Desperate Housewives is a pretty good show, I watch it, I like it and I don't love reality tv that much. I do watch some, I've got three daughters so we'll watch the good stuff, the fun stuff.