There was this whole middle time that only Chris Rock came out of, you know, 10 years ago it was Chris and a few other people, but that's about it. Chris is in a class of his own; I don't see another comedian who I put in high regard as him.

I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby's behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.

It's smart to marry your yoga teacher so when you get divorced you know how to go down on yourself.

The Comedy Store - all three rooms were filled with 800 people in the room. And during that time, all these guys and some women, but mostly guys who weren't funny were doing stand up for a living; they weren't accountants, they were making $30-$50 grand a year on the road, or more.

Everyone I love I pay.

Ladies, apologies, but isn't 'vintage' just used stuff?

If someone sprays windex in your food it can give you diarrhea. But once you wipe it off your windows, you're fine.