Apparently my street has a leaf blower gang who tag team all day, so the sounds of the leaf blower are forever blowing from dawn to dusk.

Some people rely on rumors and gossip because they are devoid of any original thought.

No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.

All I've ever done is try to entertain my way through a life that often has a huge amount of heaviness in it.

My favorite procrastination is to make the choice to have valuable times with human beings that I care about instead of holing myself up alone to get my work done.

Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you're the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.

Behind every great man in prison is another great man in prison.