I love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if they're really hurt, if an ambulance has to come, I'm not laughing.

My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that's how he dealt with my mom.

I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn't get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn't join a biker club.

25, 30 years ago, that meant something, they were making some money. And they were doing all sorts of comedy, screaming at the audience, basically crowd control. And then there was the whole urban comedy scene.

I love my mom! You can too for $12!

Just went to the gym and worked on every body part. Four people slapped me.

I like to approach every day like it's my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.