Everyone I love I pay.

I'm completely changing my diet. My nutritionist recommends I must now stop eating food I have already eliminated.

I think comedy is on an organic upsurge right now because when I started, it was 1978 at The Comedy Store and Letterman had just stopped emceeing his morning show.

The nature of comedy is 'just do it.' But I think what's interesting about it is this joke has been around and why. And it's just saying what's wrong and how wrong can you be if you say it.

Beautiful clear day in Beverly Hills. The sweet smell of Botox is in the air.

The secret to raising children is to love them... And teach them to operate in a way you can tolerate them the best.

Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you're the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.