I am stressed because once I am flattened out so thin to be able to slide under a doorway, I may never be able to ever be unflattened so I could be regular sized again.

If 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger,' how do you explain zombies?

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. And if that doesn't work out for you, Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.

I'm completely changing my diet. My nutritionist recommends I must now stop eating food I have already eliminated.

My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.

When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you'd want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs?

Concerned we're in a time where politicians can't even fake sincerity. Aren't they supposed to be good at that?