I am stressed because once I am flattened out so thin to be able to slide under a doorway, I may never be able to ever be unflattened so I could be regular sized again.

I wouldn't hurt a flea. I'd finger a spider though.

I don't censor myself, but I don't want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either.

I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them

You learn who your friends are when you find out who will lie for you.

I like to approach every day like it's my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.

I love my mom! You can too for $12!