You can talk about things indirectly, but if you want to talk how people really talk, you have to talk R-rated. I mean I've got three incredibly intelligent daughters, but when you get mad, you get mad and you talk like people talk. When a normal 17-year-old girl storms out of the house or 15-year-old boy is mad at his mom or dad, they're not talking the way people talk on TV. Unless it's cable.

Friend of mine just told me he used to be a bad alcoholic. I calmed him down. Told him he was a good alcoholic just a horrible drinker.

Words matter. Especially ones with four letters.

When you have a good time there is no time.

My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.

One of the first things I said when I signed on for the show was No hugs! Full House was all based on hugs.

I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby's behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.