You can talk about things indirectly, but if you want to talk how people really talk, you have to talk R-rated. I mean I've got three incredibly intelligent daughters, but when you get mad, you get mad and you talk like people talk. When a normal 17-year-old girl storms out of the house or 15-year-old boy is mad at his mom or dad, they're not talking the way people talk on TV. Unless it's cable.

A lot of the comedians don't even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.

What do you do if you're in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?

My mom just told me it's impossible to know what's going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day.

It's a new day: Full of promise and love. The only thing that can take away that great feeling is - reading the news or speaking to people.

My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.

25, 30 years ago, that meant something, they were making some money. And they were doing all sorts of comedy, screaming at the audience, basically crowd control. And then there was the whole urban comedy scene.