If I ever die, I want it to be cause I got hit by a car saving a kid.

Some dead people said smart stuff.

It's a new day: Full of promise and love. The only thing that can take away that great feeling is - reading the news or speaking to people.

My haircutter figured out I whine less if I'm under general anesthesia. I just hope when I awaken they haven't given me a Brazilian wax.

Just went to the gym and worked on every body part. Four people slapped me.

Saw a man in Whole Foods yelling at his son, What are you doing?! You know I don't eat bread!! Is there such a thing as health food abuse?

I don't censor myself, but I don't want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either.