My confidence wavers between being genuine and being insecure.

I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn't get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn't join a biker club.

25, 30 years ago, that meant something, they were making some money. And they were doing all sorts of comedy, screaming at the audience, basically crowd control. And then there was the whole urban comedy scene.

Paul Riser tells it in an interesting way; he dissects it and tells the structure, you know, 'you don't mention that part here.' But that's what's interesting about it and the people who are absent are interesting too.

I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby's behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.

If I ever die, I want it to be cause I got hit by a car saving a kid.

If you're hanging out with two negative people, do they equal one positive person?