I don't censor myself, but I don't want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either.

I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them

I don't like the negative of reality tv - the 'you're no good, so you have to leave, I choose you, but I thought you really loved me.' It's all about how bad people are and I just hate that. I like Pimp my Ride where someone is helping somebody.

The favorite method of vice is to diss all responsibility be work or social, go off by myself, and enjoy a good steak and a great glass of wine. Oh yeah, and my kids are there too.

Aristotle said, Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. Isn't that a three-way?

You learn who your friends are when you find out who will lie for you.

I have a feeling I'm going to wake up one day and say 'I can't do dirty stuff anymore, I want to go all clean.' I'll do clean stuff too, I like to entertain people. Then they egged me on; we shot it at The Laugh Factory.