The favorite method of vice is to diss all responsibility be work or social, go off by myself, and enjoy a good steak and a great glass of wine. Oh yeah, and my kids are there too.

My girlfriend just told me I am one of the smartest people she knows. I told her, You need to meet other people.

I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them

I'm a believer that when one door closes another one opens. But why does the one opening always hit me full-speed-knob-first into my nuts?

If I ever die, I want it to be cause I got hit by a car saving a kid.

Everyone I love I pay.

One of the first things I said when I signed on for the show was No hugs! Full House was all based on hugs.