I was on Entourage last week smoking a bong and making out with hookers and I did show them that before, cause it wasn't a hard 'r' cause a lot of people are watching that show that they know, not my little one - she's 12, but very sophisticated so it's an unusual case.

I don't like the negative of reality tv - the 'you're no good, so you have to leave, I choose you, but I thought you really loved me.' It's all about how bad people are and I just hate that. I like Pimp my Ride where someone is helping somebody.

Aristotle said, Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. Isn't that a three-way?

The greatness of a man is only measured by his urologist.

Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you're the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.

Most people argue over who's right, not about what the truth is.

Ladies, apologies, but isn't 'vintage' just used stuff?