I was on Entourage last week smoking a bong and making out with hookers and I did show them that before, cause it wasn't a hard 'r' cause a lot of people are watching that show that they know, not my little one - she's 12, but very sophisticated so it's an unusual case.

As time goes on, the more I value doctors and plumbers. Doctors a little more. I can fix my own toilet but I still can't operate on myself.

I don't censor myself, but I don't want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either.

Most people argue over who's right, not about what the truth is.

What I have now are good problems of trying to decide and what I really want to do is good work next. My phone's ringing a lot more and I've got nine lines so when it doesn't ring, it's very frustrating.

A lot of the comedians don't even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.

I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn't get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn't join a biker club.