Around comics, I've always been known for, oh, that's not dirty, this is dirty.

I like to approach every day like it's my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.

I can't do negative, needy, or narcissistic anymore. Oh wait, I can still do the last one, aw nuts.

Yet there are some people - Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he's a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I'm doing it right now and you all seem bored.

I love telling stories and acting and entertaining people. I don't want to make fun of people.

Just went to the gym and worked on every body part. Four people slapped me.

My dad's like, If your mom and I are having sex and we videotape it and she falls out of bed funny, can I win ten-thousand dollars?