Around comics, I've always been known for, oh, that's not dirty, this is dirty.

It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don't tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o'clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.

I'd like a nice piece of salmon that's not too pink inside and yet isn't too dry or crisp either.

When you have a good time there is no time.

If you're hanging out with two negative people, do they equal one positive person?

What I've learned about comedy people is that they're defined by the harshest level they've been to, their personal Auschwitz.

Kindness isn't just a virtue, its a necessity.