No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.

It's so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.

Nobody can tell me what I can or can't do, except they can.

It's smart to marry your yoga teacher so when you get divorced you know how to go down on yourself.

I don't like to drink alone 'cause there's nobody to fight with.

Sometimes I wish I hadn't said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.

I love my mom! You can too for $12!