It's 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It's enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren't there that are alive.

Just went to a lovely Catholic wedding. I need a drink. They didn't even offer us water. Well they did, but it was Holy water.

My mom told me she thinks a man in the market felt her up today. I asked, Where did he touch you? She said, On my knee, Bobby.

Around comics, I've always been known for, oh, that's not dirty, this is dirty.

A good way to keep your relationship together is not to scream in terror when you see your partner naked.

My confidence wavers between being genuine and being insecure.

My father once told me, and it's stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.