My father once told me, and it's stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.

My father once told me, and it's stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.

It's a new day: Full of promise and love. The only thing that can take away that great feeling is - reading the news or speaking to people.

And turkeys are a bird. A very nervous bird. You'd be nervous too if you knew that one day you'd get your head cut off and... filled with stuffing.

My girlfriend just told me I am one of the smartest people she knows. I told her, You need to meet other people.

I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they're going to see it, especially her guy friends.

At the end of the day it's the end of the day.