I wouldn't hurt a flea. I'd finger a spider though.
Nothing worse than a piece of dried out fish.
Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you're the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.
Just went to a lovely Catholic wedding. I need a drink. They didn't even offer us water. Well they did, but it was Holy water.
If you don't wake up every day happy, change something.
When you're famous, you're always famous. It doesn't go away.