You're 83? Really? You don't look it. I would've guessed 81 or 82.

Tito Santana is like a cue-ball. The more you strike him, the more english you get out of him.

There's nothing better than a good, blind referee.

North Dakota State. What do you have to do there to graduate? Milk a cow with your left hand?

You'd have a good voice, if it ever came out of your throat

Obviously some cheap motel is missing a shower curtain.

If you ever had your moon salted you'd know how painful that could be.