Brad Williams Quotes

I hate that when people are like, "Well, all dwarves know each other, right?" And you want to get mad, but you can't because we do.

I'm in awe of comics that do things that I can't do, or haven't tried doing yet.

Women feel safe with me as well they should, because not only am I morally objected at going too far, but physically I cannot do it.

I'm such a damn workaholic, that it's interesting to be like, "Oh, what do I do for fun?"

There are things that I won't joke about, but it's not because I don't think they're funny or they can't be made funny. It's just that they don't fit my particular skill set.

When a soldier of the night's watch dies they say, "And now his watch is over." That's what they say when a comedian dies. They go, "And now his tour is done."

It's very confusing to me why people take comedians so seriously.

Just imagine in 20 years, when candidates will have grown up with social media their entire lives. We're going to have a president where we have - where someone could go through their timeline, or someone could go through their Snapchat, or someone will find - a future president will have sent a d### pic.

If I do talk politics it's very surface, it's not in-depth.

Half the time, you go on any one of these news sites, whether it be a Yahoo or a Google, and one of the top headlines is always, "Did a comedian go too far?" or "Comedian offends." It's like, "Really? Comedian?" A person that's supposed to make funny and make silly and historically was the only person who was allowed to make fun of the king? We're the ones that you're taking seriously?

I was a disabled child. So, people made fun of me, don't pretend like this never happens. But at the same time, I never cried about it. I never got sad about it.

Yeah, people do need to realize that just because they've seen me perform for an hour does not mean that we are now close.

I don't know how to write jokes from the point of view of a six-foot-two guy. So, I'll always talk about it, but I just don't want it to be the absolute focus of all of my act.

I admire ventriloquists, because I can't do that. I mean, I might get mistaken for a ventriloquist dummy every now and then, but I can't do what they do.

I don't know, why am I called the opposite of what I am? It's very confusing to me.