In a relationship if you are giving and getting nothing back in return, stop giving so much, and spend time being. Give to yourself, be who you are.

From the Zen view all beings are in the grip of the three poisons, greed, anger and delusion (ignorance).

We turn pain into suffering by adding on all kinds of beliefs, interpretations and judgments to it.

Do not make this practice a source of pressure, compulsion, anxiety or pride. It is none of these. Zazen is simply a way to find your true home.

When we do not reject our suffering, or add anything to it, pain is simply pain. It is what we add to our pain that turns it into suffering.

Zen practice asks you not to worry about who you 'should' become. Find out who you are right now.

Who you are is always enough. If your partner wants something different, it does not reflect upon you, but upon their needs and fantasies.